I love you, two

I am writing this because of love. Yeeeez! But not the kind of stereotypical love you may be pertaining to. I mean, one of the most genuine love I can ever invest to someone– my love for my friends.

I am not choosy when it comes to making someone a friend. I do not choose friends. Be it you, her, him, whoever– I can be their friend as long as they wanted me to be one. I have many friends, and many acquaintances. But there are only few whom I trust. This is something I want to share– I find it hard to trust people. Not that I am too confident of myself, my skills and capabilities. I am not, reality speaking. It’s just I would rather keep things to myself than share stories to others. I am afraid they might reject me or just shrug their shoulders off on me, might as well painstakingly strike me in the end. Matampuhin ako, pero di nila alam. One that makes me so would be when I talk and share stuffs to people but see them as if they do not care. It pisses me off!

But any way, I got these people with me who listen to me at all time. And I would like to introduce them to you. They are two of my best buddies, ever!

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She is Ella Mae Manila. She’s shy that she doesn’t wanted to reveal her self. Kalahati lang daw muna. Haha.We fondly call each other “Bru”.. derived from the word “bruha” just because she’s a bitch. Hahaha! Okay fine, so am I. Birds with the same feather flock together e. Masaya na? We’ve known each other for quite a long time—about 9 years already. She is a very close friend of mine… A friend whom I`ve thought will just be a complete stranger to me.

She was a seatmate of Sharlene whom I seated next to. It was during my very first class in my entire high school life, Algebra under Mam Carpio. (Reminisce pa more!) Sharlene introduced her to me; and knowing Sharlene, having the guts to speak vocally to random people, she has known her seatmate as if they were really close already. We found it funny cause we were seated in the front row and we all have the same ‘second name’—MHAE/MAE (but I got the ‘H’ lol). We were also listed consecutively in the alphabetical list of the class. From there, we’ve had random bonding moments during our entire stay in the school.

Looking back at our high school days, Ella was one of my best buddies (until now). We take our recess and lunch together along with some of our barkada. We talked on random things, we gossiped about the hottest issues on people we know. Everyday, I always ask her, “Bru, ano na chika?” This was mainly because I sometimes frequently had to absent/skip and be excused from the class due to some certain activities outside the school and thus, I was not always around. To carry responsibilities is never an easy task! And knowing Ella, having the COMPLETE ATTENDANCE (yes, I was the Class Monitor) had the chance to know everything that was happening around—from little chismis to school activities, to current issues here and across. She knows it! She’ll just answer me by “Ikaw kase lagi kang wala…” “Napaglipasan ka na naman…” “Nako! Hindi mo kakayanin!…” “San ka ba ga galing? Lumayas ka na naman kasi e…”  Everything like that. Then she’ll eventually tell me the stories. (Ang dami pang sinasabi di ba?) No matter how bitter our days get during those times, no matter how exhausted we were on things we pursue, we still have the time to chat, specifically at the waiting shed near the gate before going home while eating calamares and scramble. Oooh, I miss those days!

Ella is an “accidental spy”. She’ll eventually discover things even without having the intentions to know. She would know a dark secret even without asking. The irony! I remember one time, there was a moment when I had a date with my boyfriend-before and we keep this only to ourselves (I and him) yet we saw Ella somewhere along the road. That awkward moment, though! I didn’t know we’ll see each other that time and the smirk I saw on her face was like, “OMG, alam na ni Ella.” (I’m sure she’s laughing if she reads this). Geeez! Don’t wanna talk about it anymore, scene evoking memories keep popping! Haha. Everything’s intuitively evident to her. But I completely trust her and I know, she trusts me too, and she believes that I know what I was doing to myself that time.

Ella is an adviser, a class adviser next to Mam JLO. (Lol). She’s got your back when you’re in need, she’ll hold your hand when you’re in pain. Behind the austere self-presentation of her lies random thoughts and opinions on top of her head. She’s radical. When I feel so dragged down because of pressure and life is excruciating me, I’ll find time to talk to that bitch. Yes, she’s gonna insult me somehow but will eventually lend me her comforting words.

She can make things out of her volitions, a very strong-minded person I know. She got the best plans for the barkada, basically my high school classmates whom we call “Narralites”. When I don’t know what to do, how to feel, she’s there to help me carry the loads. She’ll offer some help, asks me what she can do to make me feel (somehow) at ease. She is the radio DJ you can talk to even in the middle of the night just to give you pieces of advise (plus, hugot lines).

Ooops! Ella was also my “Singkil Buddy”. She dances VERY EXCELLENTLY AND GRACEFULLY– like a real Maranao on her red-and-black Singkil clothes. hahaha. Too sad, I dont have her whole body photo!

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The wonderful memories we’ve had during our high school days remained sealed in an envelope of happiness. I wish I could turn back the time we’ve had.. those time before things have been so cruel to me like this. When we graduated from high school, one thing I know would be for sure: I am going to miss Ella, my one of a kind.

I entered UP on 2011 and I was really tabula rasa. I was no one. I had the melancholic days and the lame nights. And I keep texting Ella so I can have someone to talk to when I know strangers are all around me; not knowing that she had the same situation too. She was also a loner during her first college days and we seek to each other to have someone who can understand our social reality. Bru is forever my kakampi.

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Ella gave these to me on my 18th birthday. T-back undies and a parker pen. Very silly, nuh? (If you know how do they look like together from the perspective of mean and green-minded girls like us) But if you’re the kind of innocent and chaste person, never mind it. They’re just, you know, as they are. *note sarcasm* I am using the undies, but not the pen yet. Any way, the pen is personalized and my full name was printed on it. So sweet! This was my first time to receive such a very special pen as a birthday present. I promised myself that the first time I am going to use that pen would be when I am about to sign “graduation papers” and my very first work contract. Yes, I am preserving the drops of its ink.

But, the nexus between us never fades. We are still having the time to talk to each one through twitter, instagram and facebook. (Follow her by the way: @esmanila @aaella). It feels good that we still get the chance to know what’s happening with our lives at the moment. She’s currently based in Dubai and I can’t remember the last time I was with her physically. When we chat, I always ask her to treat me somewhere and I was asking that for so loooooooong! And I think, it’ll take forever for that to happen *knock on wood* Nope, I think that’s gonna happen.. VERY SOON.

The ephemera stuffs we were doing before meant so much. Every crazy moment spent with her is a moment that pleasures me deep from within (Woah! Manlilibre na ba?) She’s the kind of girl I will forever keep in my heart.

Bru,

I know you’re reading this by now (you’re my stalker, right!? Haha). I just want you to know that I miss you SO MUCH! I am always looking forward for a moment we’ll cuddle again. I am glad you’re paving your way towards your dreams in the world of sand. Haha. Sana mahanap mo na yung pangarap mo dyan, maliban sa cactus at camel. Sana matupad mo yung pangarap natin, ang umunlad. Sana magkatrabaho ka na para naman may maiambag ka sa ekonomiya ng Pilipinas, hindi puro ganda na lang. Goodluck sa paghuhukay ng ginto, ichi-cheer pa din kita. At sana makahanap ka na ng pag ibig sa piling ng isang Arabo.

        Happy 22nd Birthday! Cheers for another year of life! I LOVE YOU.

PS. Forever favorite ko ang chocolates. BAKA NAMAN.

 

🙂 🙂 🙂

I also would want to feature this girl.

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She is April Sarah L. Masa. She calls me “Chimae” and I call her “Sharra”. Aren’t we sweet? She is a girl very, very near to me. She’s one of my best friends. Like Ella, I’ve known her for about nine years already. She was also a classmate of mine way back in high school.

I got the chance to know her one time we were grouped together by our Filipino teacher during our freshmen days. I know, at the very first place, we could be close to each other. Yes! I knew it. I saw her light aura which attracts positive vibes around. And I want to befriend her. I found her really funny, though a bit clumsy and childish then. Haha sorry, Bes! She is someone you can depend on. She’ll ask for your opinion, what will be good, and everything. And when you ask for something, she’s always ready to respond. She respects every person she have around.

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I also had hundreds of times eating with her during recess and lunch breaks, actually almost every school day. We have created much stories to share, sheer randomness of happy hours.

Sharra is one of my buddies during Mardigras days. She’s very eager to join ‘cause she believes she dances really gracefully and she was always a queen of the street. Haha! Every year, we were busy practicing for the said annual street dance. Not only that. She was also fond of participating and dancing at cultural nights being done in school before. She just, y’know… loves dancing so much. Pushes her best, she’s indeed a virtuoso.

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Sharra is the sound of the party bass you cannot avoid listening to. Literally, Haha. But no, when she speaks, I am sure, everyone would smile. It is a natural thing for her to speak of something that you’ll eventually laugh at. She’s the ‘Merry Andrew’ of the barkada. She is a main ingredient of the happiness one can ever have acquired during getaways and adventures. If you’ll get the chance to know her personally, I’m pretty sure you’ll see how beautiful she is—inside and out. You’d more appreciate the intrinsic beauty that lies from within. (Ohha, Sharra, libre mo din ako!)

There is never a dull moment when you’re with her. No matter how serious and bad the situations are, there is her skill of pointing out to something really funny on it or she’ll find something funny at you. In layman’s term, Babarahin ka niya! It might piss somebody off. But to me, it’s a way of exhaling the stress out. It’s a way of escaping from the hard times in a few seconds. Might as well change the mood of the people, making it a bit lighter. And besides, I am very used to it. If you’re with her, she’ll gonna talk to you as if there is really no tomorrow. Haha! Don’t get it wrong, honey. I mean, she’ll seize the moment you’re with her, she’ll make sure you had the best of time. Carpe diem!

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Behind all the smiles, laughters, jokes and chuckles she contagiously shares, I can say, she’s one of those fragile girls who gets broken so easily. You’ll never know she’s going through somewhere unless you know her deep down within. She might be at her silliest, but you’ll see in her eyes, something’s bothering.. some things are not going smoothly for her.

Sharra is a girl so brave enough to tell what she really feels to persons she trusts. And I believe I am one. Haha. I am oh so flattered that I get the chance to know her more deeply because of her random stories– stories that will never bore you and you’ll get attached into. Everybody might perceive her as someone telling non-sense stuffs, but to me [honestly], all those are things worth looking and hearing at.

We laugh at random things, we are almost always on our craziest, we take photos more often, we even had evil plans at times. Like, not talking to someone unless they get this noticed, bullying someone’s English (by the way, she’s really good in English), making fun of one’s throwback photos, etc. etc. etc. Bitch, mean, name it! But this is how we are as friends.

But Sarah is somebody you can always rely on. She`s there to cheer you up when things are almost falling apart. She’s there to listen to your thoughts, to hear with your sheer random stories, to make fun of you, bully you and argue with you. But at the end of the day, she’s the kind of cheerleader who will stand with you no matter how things are inching closer at the verge of collapse.

At 21, she is still being strictly coerced by her parents on the places she is going to, or the people she is with. She is the kind of Cinderella who gets VERY, VERY, VERY conscious of time because her parents might get mad at her when she’s not around by 8pm-ish or 9pm-ish on the clock. Eh si Cinderella nga 12mn ang curfew! That might be too early among us others, but to her, it’s VERY LATE. Dalagang Filipina talaga yan eh! It is always a miracle to have her with us during sporadic moments, when the night casts its shadow and the dawn glaring its delight. But we are very used to it, actually. It’s never new to me, to us. Just the same old stories.

I know all her past love lives. She tells me the details of the stories, to the climax, to the denouement and even until the end. She was always seeking for my advise (Lakas maka-guidance councilor) whenever she’s trembling in the situation and she doesn’t know how to deal with it. I wish I was able to help her through my sometimes-may-kwenta-sometimes-wala pieces of advice whenever we talk to each one. She’s sometimes in pain, but you’ll never know what she is suffering through. When she’s hurt, the feelings start and end in a whimper rather than with a bang. And only those who knows her personally and deeply could explain this. Any ways, I am always trying to reach out to her so she can always have my back.

You’d know she’s broken inside cause there is always a hamper of change in her attitude. She’ll separate herself from the group of interwoven people, will act as if thinking something so deep, like searching with a kind of desperation for a meaningful human existence. (Ganan sya kalalim mag isip). But no matter how a bad hair day goes, there is always the positive aura in her that makes everybody smile.

That girl is one of those whom I trust. I know I can always have her during the darkest of the hours. She’s there to constantly tell me, “Kaya mo yan, Chimae! Ikaw pa!” She’s a gem whom I know I can always treasure… even if forever no longer exists.

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Sharra,

        I hope you’re able to read this. I constantly wish you all the things that you deserve. I always thank God for having you in my life and for giving me the moral support I can have from you. Stay the person I know right from the very beginning. You’re spectacular and I admire you for that. I wish you more achievements, more love, more happiness and more blessings from above.

        I look forward for more stories to share, memories to treasure and laughters to experience. I love you. Happy 21st Birthday!

 

I so love these girls so much that I wanted the world to know. Sorry for the photos! I know, you’ll gonna curse me when you see these! haha.

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Kinalkal ko pa yan sa baul so be proud of me. Haha.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, BEST FRIENDS!

“Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art…. It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.”
C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

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2 thoughts on “I love you, two

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