A Shade of Gray

It’s been a while since you promised me that you’ll be mine
Waited forever to cast the darkness away so our love will shine
While I wait, I’m holding on to those beautiful words you said
And still hoping that everything will perfectly fall instead

I am uncertain if staying with you will be worth the wait
For some odd reason, I’d love to start on a clean slate
But I am brave enough to keep myself hanging
Than to lose you without myself knowing

I lay under my bed sheets asking myself and overthinking
Are you still behind the other side of our closed door standing?
Are you still keeping me your promises?
Or is it now a thousand little pieces of broken glasses?

Hit me with the hardest sound of  ‘goodbye’
Than not to look at me straight in the eye
I’d rather get instantly rejected and quietly bleed
Than to give myself false hopes and stupidly believe

I shut the door out and reserved to you the place
But the vacancy is still filled out by dull empty spaces
Not because I don’t want others to meddle and intervene
But because it’s your hands I wanted to keep my heart in

I am patiently waiting for your sincerest response
Unmindful if it’s gonna flutter or kill my heart once
The thing is, I gave you all the way my trust
Even if forever exists but do not truly last

If you’re gonna be in my arms, do arrive
I’m in the midst of confusion, help me survive
Let me start a new chapter with the one I love
So it will be one of a kind book of my life

But dear one, do not be afraid to put my hands down
Do not feel guilty, never take a frown
It’s me who believed that you were totally different
And you were someone I can fully trust instead

I know how to keep words ’till they become real
Even if everything’s turning out surreal
It’s not that I am desperate to inch myself to you
Because, baby, I’m still looking up to you


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