This is kinda private. I was contemplating if i am going to post this or not but I decided to post this on my blog because it inspires me so much. So great that I even read this message everyday if time permits. It was two weeks ago when somebody sent me this letter via twitter shedding his/her identity in the name Elle Elle (@madetosenddm). I responded immediately the moment I got the letter. And my heart was jumping into joy upon this. Aside from finding happiness from receiving letters, this one has made me feel that i am loved. Deeply and genuinely. The letter goes like this:
Good day ma’am. I hope your day gets better. Before you proceed to reading the following context, please make sure you have a whole 10mins or more of free time because I think this will take a little bit long. I’m obviously one of your students that heard about the controversy or issue regarding some of your students’ complaints. I made this letter to tell you that I’m obviously against their protests and I honestly think that they are just KSP and pompoms (papansin). I know you said that ” Hindi ako galit or hindi rin ako nagtatanim ng sama ng loob sa inyo”, but ma’am believe me, it may have not yet happened to me (or may have) but trust me, I partially know how and what you feel inside. You don’t deserve that. No teacher deserves to be criticized regardless of their major, because every teacher has different aspects. Not everyone is good in English and most definitely not everyone is good in math. What more in those subjects like yours and sir Alvie’s? I hope it doesn’t bother you that I dropped another teacher’s name. Oh well if it does, I wouldn’t know.
Going back, I just hope you don’t hate on your students too much. I know there’s at least a pinch of hate because I know how you admire us. You even tweet about us from time to time. I’m not going to say if I follow you on twitter or not because your tweets pops to someone’s feed even if they don’t follow you due to someone liking it and retweeting it. You also tell your students from other sections/ strands/ grade level about us. I hope you don’t lose complete interest in us because not all of those students going inside that one particular room said the same and thought the same. I’ll admit, your way of teaching wasn’t my favorite. Hold on, please let me explain. I’m not an independent individual to start with. So I’m not a fan of power points and handouts very much. But I didn’t have a problem with you since you actually made the pointers easy by putting it on power points. I realized that when we had a quiz regarding three or four power points about community I think. I’m going to be a little sorry for this next part but, I only studied for 30mins when I woke up at 5am that day. Reading the power points for the first time and just my luck, I didn’t do bad on the quiz… nor did I do well actually. Haha.
My point is I know we still understand a lot even in your different method of teaching. And you shouldn’t be labelled as “Hindi nagtuturo” because that’s the most insulting thing to say to a teacher because, duh?
I don’t know. I don’t really know. I just want you to feel better ma’am. If I’d want credit for this I’d have put my name or nickname or whatever information that you can get just to know who I am. I bet you won’t even care how I am because… I know you were hurt from what the principal has told you. I want to give hints or even direct words to tell you who does sipsip, plastic and fake students were but, d’rather not. I’m obviously not with the top ten know, am I? Haha.
No, to be honest though, I didn’t know about the whole issue. Like, you not teaching, you being too informal that they had to tell another teacher about so that teacher could tell the principal, and such. I just think that you’re feeling betrayed and like your own beloved students turned their backs on you. I don’t know how else to make you feel better but this letter because I don’t want to say this to you in person. Like, you might think I’m doing it for grades and whatever.
Ma’am believe me, we’re not close. Kinda sad because we’re not but… Hmm… I still want you to know that there’s a student believing in you and somehow knows what you’re going through. Persist, ma’am, perstist. Show them. Show us. Take care ma’am. God bless po. – I might be a girl, I might be a guy.
PS. I’ll just stalk your twitter for updates if ever you’re going to give subliminal feed backs about this or nahh.. Anything’s good. Always pray because God sees us always and always knows our struggle. He will lead us to the right path, we just need to call on to him. We might see each other in corridors, classrooms and outside the school and you’ll never know it’s me. And I’ll try my best to act as casual as possible heheh. (That was a long PS. ) PPS. I originally planned to print this letter and secretly leave it on your table but I figured you’d check the CCTV. Haha. Also wrote it the same day you announced that the principal has talked to you.
I am shedding tears while reading this. I am encoding my juniors’ grades while writing this to you. Thank you so much for these thoughts. Thank you for (still) believing in me even others do not. This has made me feel good knowing that some of you love me this way. *tears* Truth be told, since that day, I am quite intimidated getting inside your room thinking that others are already judging me. But what else can I do? People will judge me intentionally and it is always part of growing up.
I may not be a perfect teacher and adviser but I am certain that I am trying my best in all that I do. Forgive me for being weak and for not having met people’s standards. Believe me, I am not mad of you in general. I have been hurt, yes. My heart felt like being stomped on and it kills as hell. But as what I’ve said, I was into such kind of pain. This is never new to me. But yeah, that is what makes us stronger and even wiser. So I am still accepting things as such. I am not afraid of criticisms. What hurted me most is the inbearable feeling that I’ve been betrayed by the people I trust and admire.
I want to be close with you for I know that you’re a true person and I feel that. I’m sorry if one time I spoke to you informally. During those times, I spoke to you as a friend, not someone superior of you. Forgive me. Here’s to give massive thanks to you, dearest advisee, for these kind of words. You’ve been so good that these words came from the heart. I trully appreciate you saying all these. Whoever you are, believe me, I love you. I am wishing you all goodness and health. Do good and advance congratulations on your graduation! Cheers!
I honestly do not have any idea who this person was. Reading the way he/she writes, I ain’t have no clue. He.she writes beautifully and it is so hard to guess who he/she was. Many of them writes as such. But whoever this person is, I am certain that she/he will go places someday.
And I am still hoping that in the many years to come, when many things have changed for the both of us, he/she will approach me and say: “Mam, ako po yung nagbigay ng letter sa inyo some time in March 2018. I hope you still remember po..”