To The One That Got Away

This one is for you, my young sweet love. This is me thanking you for all the fond memories we both have shared though we rarely see each other as frequent as it was before. I want you to know that I am beyond blessed having you in this ever chaotic life. You were the serenity and the damsel in my distress.

This me me letting you know that I am so grateful that we’ve met. You were the star shining in the constellation of my universe. We were both happy even we never labelled what lies between us, for so long. Because what matters was the love we’ve found in each other. The love we knew. You made me see the beauty in things I once thought were ordinary. I loved you in so many ways you may never see.

This is me saying sorry for all the shortcomings I had when I still have you. I am imperfect– the reason perhaps why you suddenly left. That sometimes pride spread through me like warmth. We may be the exact opposite of each other. Like north and south. Like alpha and omega. But we filled in the gaps between each other. We went good. We went okay. Until the day you just left me, even before love left us.

This is me assuring you that I’ll be missing you every single day. That no day shall come to dawn without me waiting for your cheesy messages which fade the exhaustion and stress I had the whole long day. That the absence of you will always be felt. That your smell will always linger around. That it will always be you whom I think of whenever I open my eyes to start up the day. And the person I whisper to my every prayer before I hit the sheets at night. And every little thing I see in this monotonous life will constantly remind me of you.

This is me wishing you better days, months and years with the love you have just found. Love her greater than you loved me. Never cheat on her like what you did on me. Her love deserves to be reciprocated by you. You both look good and I saw your eyes sparkling while you’re looking at her. The same sparkling eyes I looked at during our most beautiful times.

This is me freeing you from the grip of my embrace. I could hardly say goodbye to you, on top of everything else I was trying to let go of. These words are still scattered in my mind and I held my hands up in bewildered surrender. My mouth was still halfway open, thoughts stillborn. But no matter how I searched, there was no candy coating on the truth of how broken I feel. But love, believe me, I am strong. I can always handle the pain.

This is me saying I’ll be okay. That day will come I’d never think of you. It won’t hurtย  seeing you with somebody else. One day, we might see each other again. In parties, getaways, parks, malls and the same coffee shop which used to be our comfort place. This is me hoping that if that day shall come,ย I’ll be genuinely smiling at you without bitterness and any glimpse of heartache at all. And because social normalcy has no longer eluded me at every turn.

This is me still wishing you the best in all things. May all the dreams we once talked about come true in God’s perfect time. May you find happiness every day of your life. You will always be a part of me.

This is me saying goodbye. This is me, letting you go.

Later in life, my love.

 

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